Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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