NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize