Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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