There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
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I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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