Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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