I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
