So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.