i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.