And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related