So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
