sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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