Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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