let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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