And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
