Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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