Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
