The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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