So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
