My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
