we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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