I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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