can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
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she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize