How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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