i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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