Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
