We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
