k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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