It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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