Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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