Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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