Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
