I've blown a few things in my day
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
