someone threw a dead crab at me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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