I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
