She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
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HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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