I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
