TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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