i just made my gag reflex go away.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
