Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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