Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
