Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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