It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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