She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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