it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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