But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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