I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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