Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's rum buckets o'clock
not ubering you a puppy
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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