just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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