I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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