Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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