hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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