Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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