After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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