You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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