Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
