While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
