if you like me you must not know who I am
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
