we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
