Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
