After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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