I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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